Friday, March 30, 2007

Sonnet

Anticipation

How long until this wait will be complete
This long hearted stretch of pain and trial
Like on your way home in a navy fleet
Or the night before you walk the aisle
I fear this may be too unbearable
Without the help of a brother or friend
But, just as in the good old parable
A hand the Samaritan does extend
Now on your feet and able to survive
The journey you eagerly wish to end
When at the destination you arrive
Something no one can ever comprehend
My mind had played a naughty little scheme
Back to the start, it was all just a dream.

8 comments:

hanaumaBAE1230 said...

I can feel the weight and anxiety of anticipation from your poem. The way you described it with these lines...
"Like on your way home in a navy fleet
Or the night before you walk the aisle"
really captured what it's like to anticipate.
How you return to the state of waiting and anticipating with the mind playing a trick brings the rush of anxiety all back again.
Good job!

Katherine said...

This is incredible! I was blown away with the complexity of you're rhyming skills and deepness of the sonnet. It is definitely deep enough to write a paper on. When you write your paper, you might want to explain your poem a bit more (for ex: your conection to the poem and what some of the anxiety is about and then realizing it was just a dream.)

When you refer to Samaritan, are you refering to the Samaritan people? It would be good to clear that up.

Other than that, you're poem is literally flawless.

Hope this helps,
Katherine

kiley said...

i really liked your choice of words for you poem, it realy got your points across and made it sound like a well writen sonnet.
good job

MRKGT said...

Wow, your ending totally throws out the whole rest of your poem.
And I mean that in a good way. Your descriptions are helpful too. naughty kinda busts the feeling of the poem, so maybey find another word.
Great Poem

Anonymous said...

i LOVE the way that you end this poem. the whole time i thought it was something like, super sad or depressing and in the end when i realized it was a dream i was like, wait, huh??? a dream??? and it flows really well too, good sonnet!

boshiro10 said...

Your sonnet is great! I loved the twist at the end. Maybe in your paper you can write something about how anticipating things in life that don't turn out to be dreams and how friends help you during tough times.

:) said...

I like your poem, all the examples you give and how you can relate it to everyone. I mean, we have all been through something we have been waiting for and you have captured the feeling on paper. Maybe in your paper you can focus on what anticipation have taught you. LIke yo ushouldn't rush things, just let them come when they're ready? but Good JOb!

:) said...

good job! i like your poem and how you captured the feeling of anticipation on your paper. Maybe in your paper you can write about what you have learned from anticipation... that you should just let things flow and don't wait around for things to build them up in your mind and later it's not as great as it seems. Also the suprise might be better than the wrapping paper appears (Christmas).